Score: 10

"Best game ever."

submission: You Have To Burn The Rope

date: April 9, 2008

I cried laughing the second time I beat this, after reading about 3 walkthroughs, the game manual, the video walkthrough, and the trailer.

Score: 1

"How about no."

submission: The Fur Fighters

date: March 30, 2008

Well, I guess I'll start by reviewing the actual game, the message left aside. The animation was good, I'll give you that. However, the gameplay was mindnumbingly repetitive. Every level was the same. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing, but when the basic level design is markedly mediocre, that's a problem. All you did was wander around with really, really sluggish controls that made gameplay tension and excitement free, and tap spacebar when in front of things. Boring as fuck, frankly. Pretty poorly done.

And now the fun part, your message. Nice propaganda. Nice little baby talk. I don't need to hear about "OH NO! CUTEY - WUTEY LITTLE PANDA - WANDA IS IN TROUBLE!" If you want me to take you seriously, logically present your points and back them up. Otherwise, your opinion means nothing to me, I don't need to be babied.

The part that really irritated me about your propaganda was your blatant use of stereotypes. Are you aware of what stereotypes are capable of? The models are too dumb to know better are they? So models are all unintelligent people? Based on what is this? Don't use stereotypes, use facts. Stereotypes kept the US segregated for years. Stereotypes keeps minorities in check. The system you seek to fight uses these stereotypes to keep you from accomplishing your goals, they portray you as filthy disgusting hippies and terrorists, which I know you're not. Don't sink so low. And I mean, your portrayal of the CEO of Burberry? Why do you feel the need to attack people you clearly have never met on a personal basis? Please, have a little maturity. If you want to be taken seriously, act seriously. Don't play schoolyard games. This is why no one has any respect for you little movement there.

Overall, the game was mediocre and you presented your message in a disgusting and pitiful way. I support your end wholely, I think the treatment of animals by the industry is barbaric and cruel. Your means however, literally sicken me. Honestly, grow up.

Score: 4

"Rather generic, in a mediocre way"

submission: Phantom Mansion: Red

date: November 13, 2007

Well, from what I could make out through the all the advertisements and promotions, you were either a.) trying to make a somewhat creepy game and failing miserably with all your bright colors, or more likely trying to make something with the same lighthearted irritating atmosphere of one those Halloween games made by cereal companies. Instead, I found it simply to be far to generically graphiced, with characters that could be in any number of "cute" games around the web with no real style to it.

The "puzzles" that I played through were generally not particularly intellectually simulating, requiring very little logic and not that much thinking through, as well as also being remarkably similar to just about every other puzzle game made from this viewpoint...push the blocks around. Collect things. Don't die. I lost interest very quickly, realizing that the choppy and ungraceful movement in the game meant that the time required to beat an unsatisfied puzzle was time completely shot to hell.

In short: this game bored me. There's a hundred different identical games I could play with more entertaining graphics. Also they wouldn't have giant banners all over them.

Score: 7

"Good, could be better"

submission: This Is Madness

date: September 23, 2007

I thought the game was really good overall, good solid gameplay and really felt like madness. It's sorta what I thought Madness Interactive should have been. The biggest thing it could've used was an experiment room, where you could test the guns and spend some time jumping around to get warmed up. Just so you knew what to expect from the different weapons. Also, the rooms in which you had to jump from platform to platform were really irritating, as you bounced as skidded everywhere.

Seriously though, an experiment room would really help this game.

Score: 7

"Excellent, but not perfect."

submission: The Last Stand.

date: April 27, 2007

This game was really well done! A great variety of weapons, good graphics, good defence...only one problem.

I come with the popular complaint of difficulty. I don't mind difficult games, but the problem with this one is that if you fuck up a little bit on the early levels, than you spend the rest of the game trying to make up for it. If the barrier health gets down too much early on, you spend all the daylight repairing it and never get anywhere. I mean, this was REALLY freaking hard. They always reach the barrier and you have to be insaneely fast. It needs a difficulty setting, really.

But overall, mad props. Just a bit hard.

Score: 6

"Good, but could use some extra features badly"

submission: SMO Arena Fighter

date: March 8, 2007

Overall, the game was good. Good graphics, good gameplay, good concept etc. The problem with it was that it had all these cool guns and good gameplay...and nothing to do with it. The skirmish feature was pretty dissapointing, it was too short and pointless. It would be much more entertaining with a health bar. All the guns just started to feel exactly the same.

The game could use a semi - linear game mode, I think, rather than just knock the guy off the edge and suicide bomber mode.

And speaking of knocking people of edges: it was way too easy. On most maps, a single shot with any gun that had some firepower would send the other guy clear off the map. If possible, a way to turn up and down gun impact would be nice.

The custom map feature, while a very nice one, had one really major flaw: you couldn't edit prevously made maps. So if there was one little error in your map, you had to remake the whole goddamn thing.

Good concept and good gameplay, but it needs some touching up.

Score: 8

"A couple problems..."

submission: Dragon Fist 3

date: December 15, 2006

An excellent game overall, but there are a few problems. It some times kinda freaks out when you punch someone out of middair. Also, some of the bosses are way to frickin hard! How come Dragon Gaurd's special takes a way about HALF OF MY FUCKING HEALTH!!?! It really started to piss me off after a while, just getting killed in a few blows from bosses or just getting trapped in an endless combo that I can't stop. Other than that, great, very fun, fighting game.

Score: 10

"Absolutely astounding."

submission: Cucumbers

date: December 12, 2006

Amazing as always. Also, alliteration.

Score: 1

"Absolutely AWFUL!"

submission: Mind Your Manor

date: November 29, 2006

This was the worst "logic puzzle" game I have ever played. I cannot explain to you the level of hatred I have for this game. It's that bad. I tried exlpaining it once, and that review got deleted. If you make a logic game: PUT SOME FUCKING LOGIC IN IT!

All this was is a bunch of guess and checking, only with worse graphics than some of the other one's in it's category.

You should explain it more like this: If you have a borad, a hammer, three metal chunks, a gopher, a pile of horseshit (this game is a good substitute for that), and a fire and you had to do something with them and if you did it wrong you'd die, you'd have no idea what to do right? Awful. Simply horrendous.

Score: 1

"Ummmmmmmm...no?"

submission: TERRAIN: Chapter 2

date: November 29, 2006

This was terrible! Huge let down after the first. First boss thing: Click as fast as you can. Second: Click as fast as you can. And that pretty much sums up the entire pike of overall suckage this game was. Clicketyclicketyclickety...SO BORING!!!!! The graphics were great though. But the game was terrible, I am sorry to say.